Start. Where does one start after their world has been turned upside down? Ok, that sounded dramatic, I don’t mean to be. But in some ways my world has been radically changed. I was recently disgnosed with an Autoimmune disease called Hashimoto’s and I am in the process of being tested for Celiac Disease. While I am so thankful there is a name to how unwell I have been feeling, it comes with a change in lifestyle. It comes with the words “there is not cure” or “you’ll have this the rest of your life.” I fluctuate between relief, fear, motivation, overwhelm, gratefulness, grief, frustration, clarity and confusion.
All I’ve really known for the last 14 years is living in some state of unhealth. Starting with bouts of depression due to birth control, to the overwhelm and healing from childbirth and child raising, to the days of feeling like there were concrete blocks on my feet, unable to get anything done, to the nights curled up in pain, to the extreme frustration and embarassment of losing my words and not being able to form or finish thoughts. I would wake up and think “What is it going to be today? Nausea? Dizziness? Inflammation? Bloating to the point of looking 4 months pregnant? Headaches?” I was surprised when a day would go by with no symptoms and the energy to get things done.
So where do I go from here? How do I start this new lifestyle? In some ways Hashimotos is a gift. An answer to prayer really. So today I’ll start with gratitude. I am thankful for health care. I am thankful for a doctor the Lord knew I needed. I am thankful for answers. I am thankful for a good support system. I’ll start here. I’ll with what I know and give myself grace along the way.